i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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