Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
