What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
