There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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