Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
