Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
do nipples grow back?
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