You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We left the knife in your bed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
