apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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