Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Everyone says I win the strip club
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"