I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.