I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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