I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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