I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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