Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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