your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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