whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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