your room smells of hookers.
And success
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We got so high we made milksteak
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
