You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
