We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
nutella sex= disaster
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
