I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
