I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
