I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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