Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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