I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
