Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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