I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
