I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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