Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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