Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
