How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
