yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
