She went from zero to smokin in five shots
only if we run a train.
done.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
