she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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