Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
