i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
