oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I wear drunk well.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize