i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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