No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
