areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
