And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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