He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
