I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize