I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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