i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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