really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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