i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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