Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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