Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
