It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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