: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
