i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
