1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I pour the whiskey from now on
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
