So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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