I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
