How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
