you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
how drunk are you?
Several
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
