im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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