Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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