Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
