wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
splinters make it hard to masturbate
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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